I expect either Oh were going to see New Movie/having a picnic/running errands or I dunno, usually followed by how about you? Its a low pressure small talk question, most of the time. (Like, Im the kind of introvert who is good with people but I know a few who are just exhausting and who drain my battery super quickly), Could you have a conversation with her about, Were gonna have to schedule when all of our kids are walking to school. We should definetely try to avoid stealth scheduling questions. Luckily my husband is a Mega Introvert as well (sometimes more than me) and understands my feelings. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People Look who is talking. Theres also Thinking of seeing [movie]. Given that the cousin is seeking babysitting, What are you doing on Thursday, followed by, Great, youre available to babysit for me! is an incredibly rude and pushy way to go about asking for that favor. Similar boundary setting but this is a different angle. You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Of course, you might have said that when you know that movie will be out for weeks and youd absolutely prefer to have an excuse to build a couch cushion fort and have an audience who is actually impressed by your terrible magic tricks, and no one wins. I grew up in the Guessiest Guess household ever my mother once quit a job because they said they liked her work so much that theyd like her to do more shifts, and she was angry at being put in the position of having to say no so I didnt come out of childhood equipped with much of a toolbox for saying no assertively. Most of what I get out of asking that conversation is sharing of day to day stuff about what we both have happening and are maybe looking forward to [that I can be happy or excited about for them] or things coming up they are anxious about or having other difficult feelings about [that they can talk about if they want to, or that I then know they might be having a difficult time on Tuesday so I should give them a ring then and see how it went/offer support if they want to process through talking]. Saying no at that point feels rude, and yeah some people have reacted badly. 2. (If they meant the invitation) Them : OH! I learned to say Ill see where the weekend takes me, which leaves me open to accept invitations if I want to or to decline to work on Sunday if I dont want to. If you already made someone admit that they do not have Serious Plans, of course at this point saying no to your invitation is going to be so much more difficult, because its going to be rude! If you have a faaaaaaaamlyyyyyyyyyyyyyy culture where not providing free labor on demand for family makes you the jerk, lean in to it and accept the mantle of jerk; this frees you from ever needing to try to avoid that label in the future. Yes, I know that is an inappropriate way to react. Since the question what are you doing this weekend? has, like, 18 possible meanings, many of which *can* involve power plays, it just breaks my brain. In these cases, we are all just curious and looking for stuff to talk about. Born and bred in southern California, how are you? asked of/by a stranger functions, for me, like any scripted greeting, pretty comparable to an all right with or without the interrogative in that a detailed (or even particularly honest) response is not expected and in many cases wont be acknowledged because it wont be heard (because no one is listening for it). 1. Yeah, I get that it is a soft invitation, but it also feels that the hard invitation has been tossed into my lap. If you can walk away from them, they're successful. If not, then they'll just think you're being cheeky, which of course, you are. I get what are you doing this weekend? or just what are you doing? on a Saturday morning. Yes! What to Say: "Thank you, I had a great weekend.". So with someone new, Did you do anything good last weekend? 3. Its tiring. I ask what are your plans for the weekend? *overwhelmingly* more often because Im genuinely curious: then they ask me, and we talk about our hobbies (or I say not much and we agree that laying around is nice.) But in the age of smart phones I also find Im going to have to check my email before I say yes to that, so let me get back to you helpful. May suggest reversing the order of operations? How Are You Doing? How to Introduce Yourself in English I want collaborators, not pupils. Yeah, I ask this of people because Im making conversation! 300 Weekend Captions for Instagram to Salute All Working - getchip (You could also just say no and keep going, but that can cause conflict with them, which you might or might not want.) Am I? As a young black woman in the US, she of course had been steeped in spotting such people her whole life. Theres still room for her to refuse. It shows that you're a calm and cool person who is easy to talk to and has no problem whether someone says hey or hello. (And if you are Susie, forget about it!). 3. Like if I can magically guess the exact time theyre free and what they want to do with literally no input from them I guess I win hanging out with someone who wasnt that enthusiastic with the suggestion that we make plans? So the next time your phone rings you will be prepared. I just want to say I appreciate that, you know, you havent started charging your daughter rent, etc. The bigger words you use, the better. Two main reasons that I can see: 1) They want to get to know you better and talking about how you like to spend your weekend is often a great way to do that. I actually liked her kid, and if shed just said she needed a sitter instead of tricking me into it, I wouldnt have minded babysitting.I ended up filling that child with sugar and caffeinated soda (he had a grand time), and forever answering Im so busy, ugh to all future questions about my plans. Justit can be a lot sometimes. Ive got[an alligator to befriend, etc]. They are called Saturday and Sunday." - Anonymous 3. It took a long time to figure out that I could just cheerfully respond, Why do you ask? In a friendly middle-class-lady voice, (almost as if I hope they are going to tell me something wonderful!). How hard is it, whats the timing, is it just for me personally (thats a favor), or is it for the greater familyHER greater family? From the sound of it, this is a dynamic already in place where LW faces various sorts of family opprobrium if LW turns down the cousin, and this is what LW is reacting to. Why is receiving an invite considered such a stressor and its ok not to get back to the person. It means Im doing nothing., Glorying in my splendid solitude how about you?. What are some funny or witty responses for when someone ask you - Quora Its been pretty good policy.) And I try to be easier on myself for not having the exciting weekends I think I should be having. But when asking, I still tend to ask in layers so the other person has many outs to either say no or express no. ), its pure formula. It still feels awkward, even though I do not think she is trying to manipulate me or claim my time. - Ogden Nash - Old timers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. 80 Witty & Creative Response to "How Are You?" - My Clever Mind Try these instead. If the idea is to make refusal easier, I think scripts like Im going to this show tomorrow, if youd like to join me and Do you know of anyone who might be able to babysit on Saturday? would be more effective. A question is not a legal summons, you can literally ignore it if you want! I might be up for casual after work hangs but not going clubbing in that sketchy bar across town. In that case, if they have already said theyre free, they might feel trapped into saying yes; I know I would. Ill have to check with E and let you know is super convenient. "Weekends are days to refuel your soul and to be grateful for the blessings that you have." - Anonymous 2. Also, I dont expect that the LW is bothered by every person who casually asks this question; Im sure they can tell when someone is just making chit chat vs someone who is interested in spending time together. In ways that I doubt he even always notices. Its harder to say if someone doesnt do their fair share of emotional labor, or figuring out their fair share of chores if theyre not physically or mentally able to do the same amount as you. I have trouble entertaining myself sometimes, I definitely dont want to try to entertain babies and pets. I probably picked it up from my mom, who does the same thing. Ugh. but I agreeparents of adult children (Hell, parents of NOT adult children) need to be more respectful of their childrens time and energy. Part of why Im asking is I just plain find it baffling that parents do this, though the consequences loom large enough. Nothing much. (To the point where one of my coworkers will sometimes ask What are you doing this weekend? Flat? I think this is an expected thing for women to do. However, there are a lot of male people who use this approach on female people because they are trying to be coercive. Rock the anger, LW. Mentioning your actual plans is one. Its a conversation starter, and its my choice whether I continue the conversation by answering or by reflecting it back at them. Instead we got stuck attending an MLM pitch. He doesnt need to be that nosy about how you spend your time. Call me. Does *your* phone not work? Or something. A simple, 'We hope you're doing well' will suffice," a Deadline editor tweeted. This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list. My nos are not because I dont like you! Of course I only say that to the people I like lol. 1. Doesnt work with friends / family obviously, but I have to consult my husband every single time when it comes to sales pitches / offers in retail / invitations from strangers etc. I really appreciate that, even though my parents and I had conflict, they never threatened to kick me out if I couldnt pay the rent. So whats the fallout if I tell her I need her help with something, and she refuses without a good reason (because she wants to play Minecraft or listen to a podcast)? As I explained, however, sometimes responding to a compliment requires a funny response. For me, it was lack of basic adult civility and respect that was the death knell I didnt expect safety or that level of support after 18 and didnt feel wronged that it was not given. However, it is true that "hanging out" is not what a person often thinks of as "OMG awesome must be there!" So I get your point, and thats definitely not what I was asking about. I had a two-day conversation with my cat about vacuums versus lint rollers. This is a very funny response to give to "whats up." She does recognize that its a way people make small talk and that its not likely to go away any time soon. Me: No can do. I agree that its fully fair to say things like, Oh, Toastmasters isnt my thing, but thanks! Thats exactly what I meant by a soft deferral. Umm.pardon me, I wasn't listening. Yes, exactly. Can we not with passing judgement on the validity of the LWs feelings about this phrase? Sometimes its totally innocuous, as LW said. And we do know that extreme surveillance is a very brutal and destructive form of torture. Its okay that sometimes my anxiety is bad. I get it from friends (who usually just want to find a time to hang and thats not so bad), my cousin (who usually wants me to babysit), my mom (whenever she wants to invite me somewhere), and people Im chatting with on dating websites. Texting or sending an email to someone. IMO the correct answer to we should get lunch some time or lets hang out is actually sure, Saturdays are generally good for me or Ive been meaning to see Black Panther. I also (insert similar hobby or interest). To contact our editors please use our contact form. For me, laundry is a good excuse, because you can make it seems as small or as big as youd like. If Im 100% sure that I dont want to do the thing based on the asker I treat this as open license to complain about how busy I am. I also feel compelled to give easy ways out when I feel like Im making a request, including ending requests with and no is a perfectly acceptable answer.. Here are some fun things to do on weekends: Get Moving 1. Another good script Ive heard for when the person is clearly trying to invite you to something is What did you have in mind?, If theyre small-talking, you can say something like Hopefully relaxing and destressing. Which I learned is a great policy to do with favor sharks. I ask this question all the time. What are you doing Saturday? might be an attempt to be extra polite about making an invitation, but it only works if the person wants to accept, and its only necessary if the person is too shy to say no. @mangosteeen, I would pay money to see Nosy Tellers face if you were to tell him you were flying to the moon some weekend! But, in the long run, in my life, I think the conflict over emotional labor and fair division of chores, while sometimes painful and frustrating, was something we were able to move past when I moved out because I never felt unsafe. I don't know, you tell me. What I usually say is, Not bad, not bad, how bout yourself?. For those who are ready to stand out from the crowd, we've gathered ten hilarious out of office messages that will inspire you to raise the bar the next time you sit down to write an autoresponder. As a little anecdote my ex-husband and I had just started attending a new ward in his church when a guy our age wed chatted with a few times asked us what we were doing on Halloween. If people volunteer that theyre from somewhere far away whether they have a recognizable accent or not I might ask what made them choose this tiny place to move to. (FWIW, Im not that extreme myself. Im a hardcore introvert, most of my plans are sitting at home, not doing anything in particular and if I answer the question truthfully, and then there comes the invitation, Im in a very tight spot because I already admitted that I dont have anything serious enough to warrant me declining the offer.